5 things I learned from deleting 70% of my Facebook friends

Sergiy Sumnikov
3 min readJan 21, 2021


Having read the book by Mari Kondo and successfully applied her method to my things at home, I enjoy my home much more now. I appreciate the things I have, and I do remember each and every one of them and where they are located. In addition, I started to buy less stuff. The core of the KonMari method is to take the thing into your hands and to ask yourself if it sparks joy. If not, then discard. It took me about 2 years to go through all of my things, to get rid of 70% of them, and to substitute some of them with the ones I enjoy. It was not easy but very gratifying in the end.

Image from Wikipedia

This success with physical things was an inspiration for me to apply the method to my digital life. Among others, I deleted 70% of my Facebook friends, and I am more careful now with adding new friends.

So why deleting and not just unfollowing and/or setting them in the Acquaintance category? It is the same as with things you own. You can put them out of sight somewhere, but they will still be around. You will still feel a kind of burden that does not correspond to your current life and does not spark joy.

My main criteria were if a Facebook friend sparks joy, if a person is doing something I am interested in, or if I have been digitally or physically interacting with a person in a positive way in the last year. Certainly, there were quite a few exceptions, and I used the criteria rather flexible and not rigid.

So my main 5 takeaways from deleting 70% of my Facebook friends were:

  1. The process of deleting is energizing and purifying though quite challenging and time-consuming.
    One learns more about own fears and up-to-date self.
  2. The real-life consequences are not so dramatic as potentially expected.
    After two months I have experienced no negative consequences.
  3. It feels very rewarding to get likes and comments only from people I care about.
    It got me to interact more with Facebook friends I enjoy and turned out into new offline meetings.
  4. I became more intentional about my interactions on Facebook
    Now I am more mindful of the people I want to interact online with.
  5. Life goes on
    Facebook is just an online social network, the most important interactions in our life are offline.

Certainly, there are many nuances, and you should take responsibility for your decisions. If you have any questions please comment and I will try to respond.

If you want to delete your Facebook friends but feel anxious, a professional coach or psychotherapist could be helpful.

PS. Feel free to apply for a free 50 minutes online coaching session on my personal website www.sergiysumnikov.com.



Sergiy Sumnikov

Business development advisor for expansion in Europe (www.scaleuphero.com) and mindful living enthusiast and coach (www.sergiysumnikov.com)